I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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