I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
