Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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