WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
