What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my poor anus
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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