guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
