My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and she was petting her beer can
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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