Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
