the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
