yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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