Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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