I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize