Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
