i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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