New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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