That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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