She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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