i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
