I'm going to jail i love you
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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