remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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