its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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