Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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