just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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