By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
