you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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