your room smells of hookers.
And success
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
