i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
