You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can I color on your dick again?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize