no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
