garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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