i would punch a child for taco bell
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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