We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
