He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
