Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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