you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
