Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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