I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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