I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
