Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
