i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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