I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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