Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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