The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize