I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
