if you like me you must not know who I am
so explain again why im purple
no
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize