Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
