2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
