I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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