Michael Bay diarrhea
Sober January is a disaster.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
