I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
