Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
