what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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