I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize