butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
