I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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