why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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