I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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