She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
